I don't know about you but that is what I say somedays. Sometimes I have to say, "No I will not clean today. I don't care how messy my house looks."
I was orginally going to write this weeks post on friendship but the topic of resting seemed more pressing.
How often do you as a mother rest? Like, truly sit down and just let your brain turn off and enjoy a moment of pure relaxation? Oh I think I heard a loud "NEVER!" I'm pretty sure I heard that loud and clear. Well here is the reality. If we as mom's do not take the time to relax, then we are doing our children and ourselves a huge disservice. We must learn to take a break! We must learn to be okay with a mess if it means we are not a mess.
There are two kinds of women in this world. The women who go to sleep with an empty sink and the women who go to sleep with a full sink. I know, I know your eyes just widened and you thought, "Holy crap she is right!"
The women who go to sleep with an empty sink are most likely also the list makers. You probably like things pretty tidy and have a place for everything. You are organized and to even think about taking a break, everything must be in its place. Well STOP! I am so serious. There is obviously nothing wrong with being clean but there is also nothing wrong with just taking a day off. Your dishes will not attract bugs in 24 hours. Your laundry will still be there. Seriously, you need to vacuum everyday? Take a day to let things be. Go outside and enjoy the sunset. Go play with your kids and let them have a day off too. Take one day and not take life so seriously.
Now, onto the mom's like me. The ones who leave dishes because well, quiet frankly, we do not give a poo about them. See our problem is that we tend to be on the go all the time. We are the go, go, go moms. We do too much. We get to the end of the day and just plop down in all our mess and think,"oh I forgot about this." We are a million miles an hour all day everyday. We also need to STOP! We probably need to just stay home and clean sometimes. We also need to close our eyes and let our brains just slow down. Life is oh so short and we just tend to speed through it all willy nilly. We have to be okay with not always doing something.
No matter which woman you are the message is the same. We must give our selves a break. We have to give ourselves grace. We need to take a day off. I think that every woman should have one day a week where you just get to unwind. I know this will send some of you into a mild panic attack! How could you just neglect your wifely duties like that? What would your mother think? What would your husband thing? Oh my goodness, what would your friends think? Who cares! Let go of having to have it all together.
Do not roll your eyes at me and stop laughing like it's not possible. You have to choose to relax. You have to consciensely say, "I will do as little as possible today." Your children can go to bed unbathed and with messy bedrooms just once a week. I know this to be true because my son does that all the time. You can leave everything alone at the end of the night and go lock yourself in the bathroom and take a bath. You are totally capable of going on a jog alone and enjoying all of God's creation around you. Tell yourself to just breathe. Go read a book. You can tell your spouse you will have to do housework tomorrow because today you want to rest. You can call your friend and tell her you actually do have time for a play date and tea because fellowship with a friend is more beneficial today. You can also tell her if she doesn't want to see your mess then she can stay home. You can tell your mother that she needs to also take a break or if she wants your house clean then she can clean it. Sorry, not sorry.
We as moms really do need to get better at not being ashamed of our "faults." We need to learn how to tell people that we are not Mrs. Cleaver and that is okay. We need to stop pretending like we have it all together and for goodness sake STOP SAYING SORRY AND STOP TRYING TO JUSTIFY YOURSELF TO PEOPLE. How often do you say, sorry about my dishes, my hair is a mess, I have no other clothes, my carpets aren't clean, my yard isn't mowed...blah blah blah. Sometimes I just want to yell, "I AM NOT JUDGING YOU AND I LOVE ALL YOUR MESS!!" I mean seriously, who ever put it in our heads that motherhood and the illusion of perfection go hand in hand is a total jerk!
So in the end we need to do all of these things, not because we deserve a day off, but because we need one. After all most of us did choose motherhood. We chose long hours, sleepless nights, dirty clothes and messy hair. However, in order for us to be the best mom we can be, without losing our ever loving minds, we must rest, we must recharge and we must give ourselves a break. It will be life changing. I dare you to try this. I promise, you will not be messaging me that resting is just so horrible. It may be hard at first but slow your mind, once you do it will be a day or an hour you look forward too. Lock yourself away, close your eyes and just let your mind wander and imagine. Dream. Abide. Be.
The Honest Mom