So as of late my life has gone from laid back and spontaneous too insanely busy and chaotic. I used to be able to wake up and chill out, do some chores, go to the park, hang out for lunch, play with Aiden, think about and plan dinner, cook dinner and then just relax after bedtime. I would go to work 3 nights a week and enjoy getting out. I have been serving for 7 1/2 years so I enjoy the break from the house and the socialization with adults and after that long I can serve tables in my sleep. Well I took on a new role and now my schedule and life has gone all wacktastic! Everything is so fun, so don't get me wrong, but it requires a lot more of my time and energy. I had a baby, started as the interim children's director at my church, started this super awesome blog, still serve and still have to maintain my home while loving my sexy hubby, sweet boys and I am about to start homeschooling my oldest. So yes, life just went from semi busy to outrageous. Haha! Well with that being said I am having to learn a new routine and rhythm. That has been my biggest challenge. My first two weeks trying to juggle all the new stuff almost caused me to have a panic attack. I have never been one to have anxiety but, boy oh boy, throw in new responsibilities and this chilled out momma will become a ball of crazy town. I have learned a few things in the last few weeks that have truly helped me be a more productive and happy mommy, wife, director and friend.
1. One Day at a Time You Crazy Person
When you try to hold all that you have to do inside your already fried brain you are bound to short out. Take one day and just plan your week. For instance, Monday's are my day to do 'business", Tuesday's are housework and Wednesday’s are my chill day, etc. Do not even think about what you have to do until you wake up that morning and look at your to-do list. Limit each day to 2-3 things. That is a workable number that will still give you time to play with your kids and actually talk to your hunk a hunk of burning love. If you think about all the things you need to do, you will have an emotional breakdown, get so stressed out, overwhelmed and become quite a grouch. Nobody wants to see Momasorous Rex. If you end up with extra time at the end of the day, fold some laundry while watching your favorite show or just let yourself read a book. Anything except more work!!
2. Sit Your Butt Down
Do not do housework besides maybe picking up the toys at the end of the night. Plan fun stuff for a day. Make that a day for your kids. Even let your kids know that it is a lazy day. Watch movies, eat popcorn, play candy land, lie in bed or just plan out your day in advance full of fun activities like the park, zoo or play dates. Don't even plan if you don't want too. It took me a few times to let myself do this. I literally told myself once "No, you can do that tomorrow." It is hard, but you will eventually live for that day. If you do have one of those "Oh crap I forgot..." moments just put a reminder in your phone for the next day.
3. Write That Junk Down
I am so the opposite of a list maker. I pride myself on being able to remember an insane amount of stuff. However, when I realized I spent more time thinking of all the things I had to remember than actually enjoying my life, I started making lists.
On your work days just jot down stuff you think about that you need to get done and then designate it to a day. Even if your lists are just reminders of stuff you need to tell someone later in the day, it will help clear your mind so you can focus on what is important. You will also be shocked at how little you may actually have. I was panicking one day about all I had to do so I wrote down what I was thinking and realized it was only 3 small tasks that would take a day at the most. Ha I was panicking for nothing.
4. Put Your Kids In Bed and Wake Up Early
Now, if you have one of those kids that wake ups at 5-6 a.m. I understand that this is an insane thing or if you have a kid that stays up super late than that sucks too. For kids who wake up early you can teach them to play in their room until the sun comes up. Even little kids understand not to come out until the little hand is on 7 or 8. It may take a few times but it will give you an extra hour to wake up, eat breakfast, read your Bible, if you want, workout or just drink a cup of coffee in peace. If your kid stays awake late, my advice is to introduce a bedtime and teach them how to go to bed earlier. Those little stinkers may cry, fight, whine and wail but unfortunately it is the price you pay. Don't give them dinner after 7, sugar after 3 and stick to your guns. I personally feel that children under the age of 13 need to be in bed in the 8-9 time range. You will never regret the energy it took to start bedtime once you have an extra hour or two at night to yourself. They will probably behave better because they are well rested; do better in school and through fewer tantrums. I mean raise your hand if you enjoy a good tantrum? No one? Aw you’re no fun. Anyway, waking up before them gives you time to start your day in peace and quiet. It helps you prepare for your day. There is just something about it that just feels incredible. I am not even a morning person but I have benefited from waking up earlier and I go to bed at a decent time.
5. Lay Down Your Pride
If there is just too much for you as one person then ask for help. If you can't keep up with the housework ask your mom, sister, boyfriend or husband to help you. You don't have to make it sound horrible. Just say, “Hey, I really could use some help. I will make us lunch and we can blast some music if you come help me clean my house?” We do not have to be super heroes all the time. Humility is an amazing quality. People are much more willing to help than you think. Just ask. If your husband gives you a hard time just remind him that he ate off the plates, wore those pants, walked on the carpet and peed in the toilet just like you did. Okay, maybe not in those words but show that you are tired and need some help and maybe reward him for his kindness with a nice back rub or…you know *wink wink* I mean that could work for a lot of things ladies. Haha I am partly kidding but my point is ask for help and thank your spouse or friends for helping. Oh and ladies nagging and pestering your husbands or talking down to them for not cleaning up or helping is not going to get you very far. You can talk to them with respect and kindness while asking them to help you. You may not feel like they deserve it but I promise it will make for a happier husband which makes for a happier wife. Respect goes a long way.
6. Just Say NO!
Uttering the words, "sorry I can't" is not a bad thing. We can't do everything. It is much better to give your energy to a few things and do them fantastically than do 100 things poorly. If you just can't handle another play date, another project, another piece of paper, another responsibility at church, another responsibility at work, another person asking you to watch their kids, another person asking for a ride, just say no. People may get offended but that is their problem. People need to say no way more often. Burn out is not worth it. It is even greater if you can tell yourself no sometimes. Tell yourself no to always worrying about tomorrow, nagging your kids, nagging your husband, nagging in general, being perfect, cleaning all day, criticizing yourself as a parent, as a wife, as a friend or any other behavior that is not uplifting to you or people around you.
Life is too wonderful and too short to have panic attacks and anxiety because we worry about tomorrow. Learn to enjoy the now! You are living now not in the future and the past cannot change so leave it where it belongs. Love and adore the people around you and one way to do that better is by slowing yourself down.
We all need breaks. We all need organization. We all need peace.
1. One Day at a Time You Crazy Person
When you try to hold all that you have to do inside your already fried brain you are bound to short out. Take one day and just plan your week. For instance, Monday's are my day to do 'business", Tuesday's are housework and Wednesday’s are my chill day, etc. Do not even think about what you have to do until you wake up that morning and look at your to-do list. Limit each day to 2-3 things. That is a workable number that will still give you time to play with your kids and actually talk to your hunk a hunk of burning love. If you think about all the things you need to do, you will have an emotional breakdown, get so stressed out, overwhelmed and become quite a grouch. Nobody wants to see Momasorous Rex. If you end up with extra time at the end of the day, fold some laundry while watching your favorite show or just let yourself read a book. Anything except more work!!
2. Sit Your Butt Down
Do not do housework besides maybe picking up the toys at the end of the night. Plan fun stuff for a day. Make that a day for your kids. Even let your kids know that it is a lazy day. Watch movies, eat popcorn, play candy land, lie in bed or just plan out your day in advance full of fun activities like the park, zoo or play dates. Don't even plan if you don't want too. It took me a few times to let myself do this. I literally told myself once "No, you can do that tomorrow." It is hard, but you will eventually live for that day. If you do have one of those "Oh crap I forgot..." moments just put a reminder in your phone for the next day.
3. Write That Junk Down
I am so the opposite of a list maker. I pride myself on being able to remember an insane amount of stuff. However, when I realized I spent more time thinking of all the things I had to remember than actually enjoying my life, I started making lists.
On your work days just jot down stuff you think about that you need to get done and then designate it to a day. Even if your lists are just reminders of stuff you need to tell someone later in the day, it will help clear your mind so you can focus on what is important. You will also be shocked at how little you may actually have. I was panicking one day about all I had to do so I wrote down what I was thinking and realized it was only 3 small tasks that would take a day at the most. Ha I was panicking for nothing.
4. Put Your Kids In Bed and Wake Up Early
Now, if you have one of those kids that wake ups at 5-6 a.m. I understand that this is an insane thing or if you have a kid that stays up super late than that sucks too. For kids who wake up early you can teach them to play in their room until the sun comes up. Even little kids understand not to come out until the little hand is on 7 or 8. It may take a few times but it will give you an extra hour to wake up, eat breakfast, read your Bible, if you want, workout or just drink a cup of coffee in peace. If your kid stays awake late, my advice is to introduce a bedtime and teach them how to go to bed earlier. Those little stinkers may cry, fight, whine and wail but unfortunately it is the price you pay. Don't give them dinner after 7, sugar after 3 and stick to your guns. I personally feel that children under the age of 13 need to be in bed in the 8-9 time range. You will never regret the energy it took to start bedtime once you have an extra hour or two at night to yourself. They will probably behave better because they are well rested; do better in school and through fewer tantrums. I mean raise your hand if you enjoy a good tantrum? No one? Aw you’re no fun. Anyway, waking up before them gives you time to start your day in peace and quiet. It helps you prepare for your day. There is just something about it that just feels incredible. I am not even a morning person but I have benefited from waking up earlier and I go to bed at a decent time.
5. Lay Down Your Pride
If there is just too much for you as one person then ask for help. If you can't keep up with the housework ask your mom, sister, boyfriend or husband to help you. You don't have to make it sound horrible. Just say, “Hey, I really could use some help. I will make us lunch and we can blast some music if you come help me clean my house?” We do not have to be super heroes all the time. Humility is an amazing quality. People are much more willing to help than you think. Just ask. If your husband gives you a hard time just remind him that he ate off the plates, wore those pants, walked on the carpet and peed in the toilet just like you did. Okay, maybe not in those words but show that you are tired and need some help and maybe reward him for his kindness with a nice back rub or…you know *wink wink* I mean that could work for a lot of things ladies. Haha I am partly kidding but my point is ask for help and thank your spouse or friends for helping. Oh and ladies nagging and pestering your husbands or talking down to them for not cleaning up or helping is not going to get you very far. You can talk to them with respect and kindness while asking them to help you. You may not feel like they deserve it but I promise it will make for a happier husband which makes for a happier wife. Respect goes a long way.
6. Just Say NO!
Uttering the words, "sorry I can't" is not a bad thing. We can't do everything. It is much better to give your energy to a few things and do them fantastically than do 100 things poorly. If you just can't handle another play date, another project, another piece of paper, another responsibility at church, another responsibility at work, another person asking you to watch their kids, another person asking for a ride, just say no. People may get offended but that is their problem. People need to say no way more often. Burn out is not worth it. It is even greater if you can tell yourself no sometimes. Tell yourself no to always worrying about tomorrow, nagging your kids, nagging your husband, nagging in general, being perfect, cleaning all day, criticizing yourself as a parent, as a wife, as a friend or any other behavior that is not uplifting to you or people around you.
Life is too wonderful and too short to have panic attacks and anxiety because we worry about tomorrow. Learn to enjoy the now! You are living now not in the future and the past cannot change so leave it where it belongs. Love and adore the people around you and one way to do that better is by slowing yourself down.
We all need breaks. We all need organization. We all need peace.