So I will be straight out with you guys. I am exhausted!! I have no idea what this post will look like in the end. I just know that it has been a week and I have not given you a new read. So, I sit here at 10 pm on this wonderful Wednesday, writing for you. My intention this week was to give you a grand array of stories from some of my most favorite of mommies, but alas that will not be this week. So, I will just tell you some grand stories from my life. My life is oh so lame. Well too bad! You are already reading this far so you might as well continue. These will be quotes, conversations and tid bits of my life. ENJOY!
When Aiden was about 1 1/2 he went through the poop slinging phase. He would take off his diaper and smear poop all over everything. I would walk in and my nose would bleed and gagging would commence.
Nothing was as bad compared to the time we were discovering his gluten problem! He pooped neon colors for about a week and threw up almost every night. I even had to...*gulp* take a feces sample...OH MY GOOOSSH I ALMOST DIED!
I have dropped Aiden flat on his back in a stroller in front of about 20 people. Picked him up and laughed. He acted like it was a ride.
He said “Mommy you have the biggest boobies in the whole world" very loudly in a restaurant.
"Girl’s wee wees are just inside their bodies" uhhh sure buddy sure
"Seafood is like the food from the sea that was alive now it is dead. Like chickens. Chickens live on farms and then the farmer just kills them."
Me: Aiden did you bite your wart off?
Aiden: Yep *smirking*
Me: *look of disgust* Did you spit it out?
Aiden: *huge smile* NOPE!
Me: EEwwww Aiden that is nasty
Aiden: Actually they are so delicious!
GAAGGG
"Mom I think I need to wipe...I think I pooped my pants" He proclaimed this at chic-fil-a...I almost cried laughing
Aiden fell off the couch multiple times...yes multiple...poor guy just liked to fly
Aiden will sleep walk and just walk into the living room and turn on the TV
When he was 2 a storm blew our front door open and Aiden took Brody on a walk outside. I had fallen asleep watching Dora and my neighbor came over freaking out saying Aiden was walking up the street. That little booger was in a t-shirt, walking barefoot in the rain, on the sidewalk, with Brody following along. I freaked out. I ran outside in a robe and probably flashed all my neighbors.
I constantly flip Aiden upside down and tell him to give me his lunch money. He thinks it is hilarious for some reason.
If a poop/bug joke has not been told in my house at least twice a day than it is not a normal day. Even Justin and I make a few.
Examples...
What is for dinner? Poop
What do you want to eat? Poop with poop on top
Are you eating poop?
I will poop on you
You have a poop face and poop hands
HMM maybe we will eat moths and butterflies
There are worms all over you
Bugs are in your brain
Poop is in your mouth
It could go for days..DAYS!
Me: You will get a spanking with the wooden spoon
Aiden:*shudders* oooo that one makes my blood come out
Ha whoa that is intense
When we go to the mall, Aiden has to dance in front of every mirror he sees
Cole cries when any of us wrestle or yell
Cole full on open mouths all babies, stuffed animals and baby dolls...
Kissing 101
- Open mouth as wide as possible
- Slobber enormous amounts
- Repeat
Well I am sure there are many stories I have forgotten over the years but those are some of the best. I would love to hear some of your mommy stories! Leave a comment with one of your favorites! I know this week was short but thanks for reading! :)